Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Waiting Game

August 7, 2010

Today was the day....the day that would determine our future.

We all knew that today's test would give us answers that we did or did not want to hear. The 12 step test to determine brain activity was scheduled for 8am.

8 am came and went
9 am came and went
10 am came and went
11 am came and I wanted to know where the team was and what was taking so long. The DRs were still doing rounds and would be there soon.
12 noon came and went
1 pm came and went
2 pm came and now I was really getting upset. We had been waiting 6 hours. Those 6 hours could have been spent in surgery but we still hadn't seen a Dr.

Sometime during the afternoon, we had another reason to have hope. Leightyn was still on the breathing machine. I was not aware that she was not attempting to take any breaths on her own. If she was making an attempt, there would be a purple line show up on the breathing machine. As we stood around the bed, we begged her to take a breath. We begged and pleaded and made her many promises if only she would take a breath.

There was a line.....a purple line.

We all cheered (like the Razorbacks had just become national champions). We kept on her....begging her to breath. At one point, Leightyn gave us 3 purple lines in a row. Here we go....Leightyn is working hard to breath. She's gonna make it. Leightyn was promised 10 or more cats if she would just breath. All the guys promised to paint their toe pink with polka dots....if she would just breath.

The respiratory therapist came in and checked the machine and took some notes. As he walked out, I asked if he could give us a smile or give us some good news. He (like every one else) said he had no good news. She wasn't breathing. She wasn't attempting to breath. His theory was that as we all got excited and cheered for her, someone was accidentally touching the breathing tube, causing it to move, causing the machine to think Leightyn was attempting a breath.

Talk about another punch to the heart. No one could give us a tiny piece of good news.

Around 3:00, the Neurologists team came by to tell us that there had been no changes in Leightyn's health. The Dr wasn't even sure that blood was flowing to her brain. There was no hope. There was nothing that could be done.

We still knew that our God was on the throne and that there was time for a miracle. We kept praying.


  1. Missy, I am praying for you and your family. I have started memorizing Psalm 40, I know you know it. What I have realized is that your testimony is like the song of praise God puts in our mouths. "Many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD." Because you are willing to sing the song of praise God has given you many are coming to trust in Him. I am humbled by your faith and amazed at what God is doing in and through you and Landen. I am praying His comfort and peace will continue to embrace you all in a very real way. Love you! Ang

  2. Missy,
    I heard about Leightyn Friday on facebook and immediately starting praying for her and your family. My daughter was in and out of the hospital as a preschooler so my mommy heart specifically prayed for you. Several days later I discovered you were one of my former students. Leightyn was the same age you were when you were in my class. When I look at her picture, I see you in her face. She was beautiful, just like her mom. From reading your blog and comments from others, I can tell you’re a wonderful wife and mother. God chose you to be Leightyn’s mom because He knew you would make her short life special. My heart is breaking for you…I will continue to pray in the days ahead. I’m glad I found you and look forward to seeing what God is going to do in your family.
    Love and blessings,
    Luann Bratton Williams (your kindergarten teacher)