Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Should Have Been You

My Little Angel,

     There has been a lot going on since I have posted anything. First let me just say, we miss you more than ever. As the days past we get closer to seeing you again, but also I get caught up in the many should have's. Its tough not to set around and wander about what might have been. Not that it does any good I guess, but as life goes on so does all the many things we miss.

     Should have been celebrating your 7th birthday.
Its hard to believe that you have been in heaven almost two years, but its also hard to believe how fast you would have grown up. On July 4th 2005, your mommy and me sold fireworks till midnight, then went home loaded our bags and headed to St Edwards for mommy to be induced. The next day July 5th, you became that greatest gift that two parents could have asked for. After everyone had gone, it was just you, me and mommy at the hospital. I had the video camera recording and you let out the biggest grin / smirk. We both melted right then and there. Just as you were apart of so many first in our lives being our first child, you are still apart of many first "while we're waiting" to see you again. 

     Should have been you singing
One of the best things about being your dad, was listening to you sing. A few months ago in youth worship they played My Savior Loves. I had heard that song so many times since your homegoing, but that night it just touched my heart. I told the kids how you use to belt the song from the top of your lungs when we would ride in the car. It was annoying at times back then, but now i would give anything to ear your sweet voice again. There are kids your age that sing at church, and when mommy and me do children's church, its hard for me to not look at them and think "that should have been you". Especially to see how big the other kids are getting.

     Should have been finishing first grade
There are many "tough times" throughout the year. One of them being the first and last days of school. Its not anyones fault. Its not other parents vault when they talk about their kids in sports, activities, school behavior, and their kids accomplishments.  To be honest, its only normal, (I think) to think that should have been you. Im so thankful that Mylea got to play softball this year. She had a blast and it brought back so many memories of getting to coach your tball team two years ago. 

   What better place to celebrate your birthday than in Heaven. Just know that we continue to miss you, continue to love you, and continue to think about you every day. There have been so many other things that we have missed and we will miss, but as we wander about all of the should have beens, we look forward to what WILL BE. As much as I want to see what God has in store for the rest of our time here on earth, We anxiously await for the day when we are all together again and for good. Happy brithday, love you Lei. CUWIGT

Untill That Day