Leightyn's Lifesong

I have to tell the story.

It's 3am, reality is setting in, tears are streaming down my face....but I have to tell her story.

My life will never be the same. My broken heart never completely healed.

Oh, Lei Lei, my sweet Lei Lei, I miss you so much. If only I could hold you once more. Kiss you once more. See that sweet smile that could lite up a room......that's my girl.

So bear with me and my ramblings....but, I have to tell her story.

Here's goes....

Two or three months ago, Leightyn (man, how I love that name!), mentioned her head hurting. Well, more like, "my head hurts...wanna go play a game". I never really thought much about it. The headaches started out being a week or so a part. Within the last month to two months, Leightyn would touch the back of her head or throw her head back and say "my head hurts", but it never slowed her down. One night, when she was at Grandad and Jo's, she threw-up. Once again, I thought nothing about it. She had had a snow cone that evening and I figured it made her sick. A few days (maybe weeks) later, she threw-up again. Within, the last six weeks, she would mention her head every couple of days to eventually daily. At her five year check-up, I mentioned it to her doctor. We (and I fully agree with her diagnose) decided it was migraines (symptoms were headaches leading to sick stomach and then she was back to normal) and maybe she also had some anxiety about school starting. Leightyn wanted to go to school, but she made lots of comments about "what if......mommy forgets about me, I have no friends, it's no fun...". Some children deal with anxiety by throwing up....so did Leightyn.

Two weekends ago, Leightyn was sluggish. She was sick, sick, sick. I mentioned to my mom that "Leightyn never seems happy and never wants to smile anymore". I was surprised when my mom said she agreed with me. So, I called the Dr. to see what needed to be done.

The Dr. suggested I keep a headache/throw-up diary to see if we could find a pattern. She also suggested getting Leightyn's eyes tested to make sure her vision wasn't causing the headaches.

August 3, 2010
This past Tuesday, I took Leightyn to the eye Dr. She passed the vision test with flying colors so the Dr decided to dilate her eyes and then retest her. She also passed the vision test while her eyes were dilated. Leightyn had fun seeing "fuzzy things" while her eyes was dilated. She kept asking to do it again and was so proud of her little fake sunglasses they gave her as we left. She wore them with pride!

That afternoon, I called to Dr. to let her know that Leightyn had perfect vision and we decided that our next plan of action should be a more detailed journal of where she was and what she was doing when she gets sick. We needed to find a pattern in the headaches. The Dr mentioned going to Children's Hospital for a MRI but said that I would need to wait a few months while I worked on the journal......we needed a pattern between the headaches and throwing up!

August 4, 2010
Wednesday was an awesome day! We (my dad, mom, brother, Landen, Leightyn, myself, and Mylea) loaded up and took the girls to see Beauty and the Beast in Fayetteville. The girls (once they got over their fears of being on the front row) absolutely loved the show. Leightyn just sat in awe, with a huge smile on her face, singing loudly all the songs, and clapping over and over after the songs.

August 5, 2010
Thursday morning the girls had a dentist appointment. Leightyn was nervous....but, who really likes to go to the dentist?!?!?!?! Afterwards, we met my mom at Sam, and as soon as we got to the front door, Leightyn threw-up. Once she did, she was fine. I figured it was nerves from the dentist and she kept telling us that she was "so hungry". For lunch, we went to Taco Bell (this has been Leightyn's favorite place to eat for the last month). After naps, I had a thing a church so Landen took the girls to the mall to play with their cousins who were in visiting. When I got home, all the kiddos were playing and having a great time. Leightyn was going non-stop. At some point in the evening, I think around 10:30, she took her blanket off her bed and brought it in the living room to snuggle with me while we played Scattergories. Later she said she wanted to go to bed with daddy and off she went.

That night we all (me, Landen, Leightyn, and Mylea) slept in our bed. I am so thankful she was in there with us!

August 6, 2010
A little after midnight, Leightyn woke up crying "my head hurts, it really really hurts". She asked for some medicine so I got up and gave her some Tylenol. About 30 minutes later, she said her tummy hurts and she threw-up. Once she threw-up, she felt better and went back to sleep. This pattern continued for the next 4 hours. About 4:30 Friday morning, Leightyn finally fell asleep. I woke up about 6:30 and Leightyn was sleeping soundly.

Around 8:15 Friday morning, I went in to check on Leightyn and she was still sleeping soundly. I let her sleep and went back to check on her about 10 minutes later. This time she was still asleep but had changed positions in the bed. I called her name trying to see if she wanted to get up. Leightyn raised her head and put it quickly back down. I figured she was still tired from last night so I let her sleep. About 8:30, I went back on to check on her and she had once again moved positions in the bed. I called her name and once again she lifted her head and quickly put it back down. A few minutes later, I went to check in her again and this time I decided to feel her breathing (I thank God that I did!). As soon as I put my hand on her chest, I could feel her heart pounding. It was beating so fast that I thought it could explode. I hollered at Uncle WeWe to come check her (hoping I was just wrong). As soon as he felt her, Uncle WeWe yelled for us to call 911. I grabbed my phone and ran outside.

While on the phone, WeWe carried Leightyn to the couch in the living room. She was pale...really pale. Her fingers were blue. Her lips were starting to turn blue. Her skin was splotchy. When you called out her name, her tongue would flinch but nothing else happened. Her eyes were starting to roll back. Horrible....absolutely terrifying!!

While we waited on the EMS and ambulance to arrive, we carried her out to the driveway. When the came (after what seemed life forever), Landen arrived shortly after them. Once Leightyn received oxygen, her color came back and she looked more like herself. Once Leightyn received a breathing tube, she was rushed to the hospital.

And so our journey begins......