Friday, May 6, 2011

Its been a while!

Hey Lei! I know it's been a while since I posted something to you. Please don't think that I've forgotten you, because I never would. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I just run out of things to say sometime, and everything that comes to my mind is something that I have already said. Like..... "I miss you so much!", "I wish so badly that I could just hug you, tickle you, and give you BIG kisses". Just to sit and think that it seems like forever ago since I was able to hold you ,play with you, and see you being silly. Really breaks my heart. I HATE being one of "those" parents. We went out to eat and I could see some other people talking. I didn't hear the conversation, but I'm would guess it had to have went something like this "How do you know them? We use to work together AND those are the one's whose little girl passed away". Tomorrow it will have been 9 months. NINE MONTHS!! If I am honest, it seems like years. There are still so many thoughts that run through my head. Questions that are unanswered (this side of Heaven). All of the whys? I know what I'm "suppose" to say, and I truly believe, that it was God's perfect will and that He was and continues to be glorified. It just down right stinks.

Just want you to know that your sissy and mommy are good. It will never be the same without you, but we are "making memories" for My. She is getting so big and has some of the exact same characteristics as you. The way she says certain things, the way we can glance out of the corner of our eye and times and for a split second see you. I thank God for those moments that He blesses us with. Mommy tells me stories of things that My does throughout the week that is a spit'in image of you. They switched over to a bible study class instead of mops, and they both love it. My has learned a lot of new songs. Speaking of new songs. The kids are practicing for a musical and MY is doing great at picking up the words and motions. Its going to be hard to sit through another musical without seeing you up there. But, like everything else, we'll get through it. She still had her days where she wont have anything to do with me and it hurts. I could always count on you for some daddy time. I wish I would have taken the time for more.

This time of the year, I cant help but wonder. All the new friends you would have made at your first year of school. All of the events that we have missed. School activities (carnivals, fundraisers, programs, ect...). Hearing the stories of what all you have learned. Its hard to read about and see kids your age that have gone through their first year. I wish that we could have got to see you grow up into the beautiful girl that you were going to be. I know you would have looked so much bigger now. I hate that we have to miss so many firsts. At the same time, I bet all the first that you have experienced are so amazing. We are doing a study on Heaven in our Sunday school class. It has really opened my eyes to many different things that I never had thought of. It also gets me more and more excited about spending eternity with God, Jesus, and, you all of our family and friends and Christians throughout time. "One day He's coming. Oh glorious day". I can just see you sitting at the table and teaching Mylea everything you learned at school.

Well, we are a week away from Little Lei Lei's 5K and Memory walk. We were hoping for 100 to 150 people to be there, but looks like we are going to have close to 300. Simply amazed by all of the lives that you touched and continue to. I hope that it is something that gets bigger and bigger each year. There are so may great things that have been done in your memory. From the money given to the church, the the sign on the gym wall with your picture for clubber of the month, the your picture hanging up in the foyer that we get to see every time we walk in the church, to the scholarship fund to help kids afford camp and other activities, and the prayer bench. I CANT wait to see the prayer bench. Its going to be great to have a place to go and just reflect. You were an amazing little girl and you continue to be. Thank you for being who you were, my sweet little Lei Lei. I Love you SO much. CUWIGT


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