Thankful Is My Choice

Today marks two years since our world came crashing down. It's hard not to look at the clock and relive every moment. Instead of sadness, today I choose to be happy. To be thankful for God's grace and His faithfulness. Instead of thinking about the sadness and heartbreak, I am going to live this day thinking of all the God moments.

I thank God that we had Leightyn for 5 years. I am thankful for all the memories. How she lived life to the fullest and lived in the moment. To hear her talk about God and to sing praises to Him. To hear her sweet little prayers. To see the world through her eyes. To look past the bad and see the good in the homeless man at Walmart. To see her face light up at Disney and to experience the magic with her. To see her as a great big sister. The eagerness to teach Mylea so many things. The laughter between them and the secrets they shared.

I am thankful for God's goodness at Children's. To know that Leightyn didn't have to suffer with cancer. To know that we didn't have to go through many treatments and surgeries and still have the same outcome. To know that we didn't have to make the decision about taking her off life support. To know that we did all that could have to done. To know the drs did all they could in our circumstance.

To have "church" while our daughter was on life support. To hear the many prayers going up. To hear family members singing "amazing grace" after Landen and I told them that we felt it was time to let her body go. To hear people talking about how the two days at Children's changed them.

I am thankful that our marriage is stronger that it ever has been. To know that we could have become a statistic and yet we survived. To know that Mylea and now Landry will see how a marriage given to God, even in the darkest times, will continue to thrive. Thankful that Landen and I have never had an emotional day at the same time. His down days are my up days and vice versa.

Thankful that our families have grown and opened up to each other. To see ones that were distant now close as can be. To see cousins bond. To see families members stepping up when we needed help.

Thankful for visitation and her funeral . Both events were something that we wanted nothing to do with. And still God showed up (and showed out). Just thinking of the many that came to support us and to tell our sweet girl goodbye. Remembering the never ending long line out the door during visitation. Remembering the prayers, hugs, and support that was offered to us. To see the huge crowd at the funeral. Never did we expect so many people. Thankful that many waited an hour and a half to get through the receiving line. Remembering Bro Mike crying as he counted the 21 hands that were raised for salvation..... Not knowing that many would come forward or email us later telling about their decisions that they didn't make public. Knowing that our Lei Lei made a difference in lives and in eternity.

Thankful that two years later we are still going strong. Thankful for opportunities to go share our story. Thankful that God continues to pour out His blessings on us... Even when we least expect them. Thankful that God has never given up on us. Thankful that one day we will all be reunited. Until then, this song sums it all up....


Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship you holy name

The sun comes up
Its a new day dawning
Its time to sing your song again
What ever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worshhip your holy name

You're rich in love and you're slow to anger
Your name is great and your heart is kind
For all your goodness i will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Soon my soul sing your praise un-ending
10,000 years and there forever more

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name