Thankful Is My Choice

Today marks two years since our world came crashing down. It's hard not to look at the clock and relive every moment. Instead of sadness, today I choose to be happy. To be thankful for God's grace and His faithfulness. Instead of thinking about the sadness and heartbreak, I am going to live this day thinking of all the God moments.

I thank God that we had Leightyn for 5 years. I am thankful for all the memories. How she lived life to the fullest and lived in the moment. To hear her talk about God and to sing praises to Him. To hear her sweet little prayers. To see the world through her eyes. To look past the bad and see the good in the homeless man at Walmart. To see her face light up at Disney and to experience the magic with her. To see her as a great big sister. The eagerness to teach Mylea so many things. The laughter between them and the secrets they shared.

I am thankful for God's goodness at Children's. To know that Leightyn didn't have to suffer with cancer. To know that we didn't have to go through many treatments and surgeries and still have the same outcome. To know that we didn't have to make the decision about taking her off life support. To know that we did all that could have to done. To know the drs did all they could in our circumstance.

To have "church" while our daughter was on life support. To hear the many prayers going up. To hear family members singing "amazing grace" after Landen and I told them that we felt it was time to let her body go. To hear people talking about how the two days at Children's changed them.

I am thankful that our marriage is stronger that it ever has been. To know that we could have become a statistic and yet we survived. To know that Mylea and now Landry will see how a marriage given to God, even in the darkest times, will continue to thrive. Thankful that Landen and I have never had an emotional day at the same time. His down days are my up days and vice versa.

Thankful that our families have grown and opened up to each other. To see ones that were distant now close as can be. To see cousins bond. To see families members stepping up when we needed help.

Thankful for visitation and her funeral . Both events were something that we wanted nothing to do with. And still God showed up (and showed out). Just thinking of the many that came to support us and to tell our sweet girl goodbye. Remembering the never ending long line out the door during visitation. Remembering the prayers, hugs, and support that was offered to us. To see the huge crowd at the funeral. Never did we expect so many people. Thankful that many waited an hour and a half to get through the receiving line. Remembering Bro Mike crying as he counted the 21 hands that were raised for salvation..... Not knowing that many would come forward or email us later telling about their decisions that they didn't make public. Knowing that our Lei Lei made a difference in lives and in eternity.

Thankful that two years later we are still going strong. Thankful for opportunities to go share our story. Thankful that God continues to pour out His blessings on us... Even when we least expect them. Thankful that God has never given up on us. Thankful that one day we will all be reunited. Until then, this song sums it all up....


Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship you holy name

The sun comes up
Its a new day dawning
Its time to sing your song again
What ever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worshhip your holy name

You're rich in love and you're slow to anger
Your name is great and your heart is kind
For all your goodness i will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Soon my soul sing your praise un-ending
10,000 years and there forever more

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

Should Have Been You

My Little Angel,


     There has been a lot going on since I have posted anything. First let me just say, we miss you more than ever. As the days past we get closer to seeing you again, but also I get caught up in the many should have's. Its tough not to set around and wander about what might have been. Not that it does any good I guess, but as life goes on so does all the many things we miss.


     Should have been celebrating your 7th birthday.
Its hard to believe that you have been in heaven almost two years, but its also hard to believe how fast you would have grown up. On July 4th 2005, your mommy and me sold fireworks till midnight, then went home loaded our bags and headed to St Edwards for mommy to be induced. The next day July 5th, you became that greatest gift that two parents could have asked for. After everyone had gone, it was just you, me and mommy at the hospital. I had the video camera recording and you let out the biggest grin / smirk. We both melted right then and there. Just as you were apart of so many first in our lives being our first child, you are still apart of many first "while we're waiting" to see you again. 


     Should have been you singing
One of the best things about being your dad, was listening to you sing. A few months ago in youth worship they played My Savior Loves. I had heard that song so many times since your homegoing, but that night it just touched my heart. I told the kids how you use to belt the song from the top of your lungs when we would ride in the car. It was annoying at times back then, but now i would give anything to ear your sweet voice again. There are kids your age that sing at church, and when mommy and me do children's church, its hard for me to not look at them and think "that should have been you". Especially to see how big the other kids are getting.


     Should have been finishing first grade
There are many "tough times" throughout the year. One of them being the first and last days of school. Its not anyones fault. Its not other parents vault when they talk about their kids in sports, activities, school behavior, and their kids accomplishments.  To be honest, its only normal, (I think) to think that should have been you. Im so thankful that Mylea got to play softball this year. She had a blast and it brought back so many memories of getting to coach your tball team two years ago. 


   What better place to celebrate your birthday than in Heaven. Just know that we continue to miss you, continue to love you, and continue to think about you every day. There have been so many other things that we have missed and we will miss, but as we wander about all of the should have beens, we look forward to what WILL BE. As much as I want to see what God has in store for the rest of our time here on earth, We anxiously await for the day when we are all together again and for good. Happy brithday, love you Lei. CUWIGT


Untill That Day
Love 
Daddy

   

   

Race Day Pictures

In my last post, I mentioned that I couldn't find several pictures that I took on race day. Well, I found them!!!! On my mom's camera. Apparently I grabbed the wrong camera in the mist of registration. So, below is a picture overload but I just had to share them!

 Must say that this picture was a perfect shot of reality that morning. Mylea was tired and wanted to play with her friends. She was not at all interested in a family shot. Landen was on the phone trying to give directions to the location. Landry was trying to fall asleep. Oh well....maybe next year we can get a good picture!

 Uncle Bill and Ms. Debbie......adopted grandparents to the girls

The church girls getting some time with Landry Lei.

 A group shot of the cousins. I tried to get them all together but they were more interested in playing.

 The greatest Bible study leader and listening ear ever!!

 Neighbors and friends

I am so thankful to have this next picture! In this picture we have Janice and Larry, then Landen, and finally Jill and Brad. These amazing people have helped us so much in our journey.

 Brad and Jill lost their daughter Hannah in 2009 after a battle with brain cancer. Hannah had prayed and asked God to bring a storm in to her life so that her testimony would bring glory to God. Click here to read about Hannah. Brad and Jill started the faith-based ministry While We're Waiting to help parents  through the process of knowing that it is ok to continue to live life to the fullest until we are reunited with our children one glorious day. I love the following sentences from the While We're Waiting site. "None of us know how many more years we have on this earth before we are reunited with our children in Heaven.  So, our main focus at these events will be discussing how we’re going to live while we’re waiting for that glorious reunion.  We believe that we honor our children and our Lord the most through our healing, and we will be seeking to begin or continue that healing process through these weekend." I would highly recommend the retreat, moms day, or dads weekend to any parent who has lost a child.


Janice and Larry lost their son Adam in 2010. Adam has an incredible story! Adam was a member of the elite SEAL Team Six (the counter terrorism unit that took down Osama bin Laden). Adam was a true testament to the verse "greater love has no man than this, to lay down his life for his friends". Adam gave up his life so that his team could escape a deadly attack. WOW!! In fact, there is a book that will be released in a few weeks that tells all about Adam's life. Check out Fearless. Landen and I can't wait to read it. Better yet, check out this video. 

 Sweet Steph from the moms group

College Buddies....all grown up!

 

2nd Annual Lei Lei's 5K Run and Memory Walk

Saturday was race day! Seems like the day was never going to get here and now it is over. What a beautiful day it was! The weather was perfect. Everything went smooth and dandy. We had over 325 in attendance. It was a sea of lime green and pink. We are very thankful for each and every person who took time of their busy lives and joined us early Saturday morning. We had around twenty sponsors who helped us raise an amazing amount of money for the Hannah House. Through the generous donations of our sponsors and the overwhelming turn-out, we raised.............$13, 000!!!!!!! I still can't believe how much money will be handing over to The Hannah House!!

Thank You for supporting us. Thank you for walking or running in memory of our Lei Lei. Thank for helping a great cause!

We are already working on dates and details for the 3rd Annual race in 2013. More information coming soon! 

Enjoy the picture overload below....

We took several pictures with family members, friends from "While We're Waiting", and college buddies. My camera decided not to work correctly and we don't have all the pictures we thought we were taking. This makes me sad. But I am very happy that they all made the long drives to come for the race.